random x 3 =.=

first and foremost, after i finish typing this post, i realised that everything really seems to have jumbled up. anyone who feels like reading it, go ahead and bear with me. others, just ignore me will do=)


so, there is ended, the very 1st paper of my A2 exam... i consider it as a normal paper, as no weird stuffs came out. but that does not necessary means i can throw my worries all away... i thought it was ok initially, but then when we all came out, people kept discussing the paper and reminded me that i left out a lot of thingsT.T my brain was like stucked....

the question stated that glass sheets were provided, so the safety precaution should be something related to how fragile the glass is and how we should protect ourselves in case the glass breaks or something like that... but i wrote "use plastic insulated wires for the expt" instead for the expt. hopefully this point will be accepted(which might not be) and hopefully there is only 1 mark allocated for the safety precaution... *fingers crossed*

mr.ala, our physics lecturer spotted electromagnetism question, but it ended up being electrical question, which we had to use more brain cells, interconnect more synapses[du bio du dao sha le==] to think of the good physics... haiz... i wrote quite a lot... but felt like i kept repeating the same point... and my friend said we should keep the p.d. applied constant and vary the glass sheet bla bla bla... but i varied nothing=.= what the... when i finished the paper in time i thought i'm not yet hopeless, but people around somehow discouraged me in an indirect wayT.T just hope that physics paper 4 will be something really normal, dont give me sth like 07 paper please>< (i know that they don't mean anything bad)


all i can say to myself is... guo le suan le bu yao xiang le hai you qi zhang paper guo le suan le............ and finally speechless@@

anyway, i'm a little bit happy though, as my 1st paper is over, A2 has officially begun, and it means i'll be graduating even sooner than what i could imagine!! yey^^ its true that i learnt a lot in A Levels, and i'd experienced a lot with my friends, lecturers and other peers here, but i turned to be a little disappointed with this foreseeable ending (is there such phrase??). when people's hearts are no longer bound together, although i tried to be the anti parallel element, maybe only for just a short period of time, eventually i will become sick of it also... just because i noticed that i failed and realised that what i did was useless, totally useless. and in the end, i just turned out not to care about these things anymore, and be a bit self centered, hoping for our graduation night to come, just like everyone else here, when everything will end. and all those memories, or maybe regrets if there is any, will flow away with time, and as time passed, nothing much will be left... 1.5 years, might seem really short, just like what we thought when we 1st entered A Levels... i'm just tired of people here who'll just comment, comment and comment, while throwing things to those people that burden themselves with those so called responsibles in class. its not easy to lead a class, or maybe i should say to organise something in a class, and i know that i'm definitely not those leader type person. in addition, i admit that i changed, i'm 100% sure about this. (seriously, i have no offense... some thoughts just appear out of a sudden, generally, not specifically...)

this morning while sitting at the concourse's bench and study, i saw S5 (another class of the same intake). they seemed to be those class that people will envy, that people would love to be in. i suppose S3 was once like them also? i dont know, as i'm among us. i was thinking, we aren't anything like what we used to be anymore, and nothing like S5(as a whole class), not anymore. there are small groups and individuals left, no longer a big group...i know that anything won't help, and i guess i won't regret for not doing anything, or making any trials to reverse this situation. the most impt thing should be exam, A2, and of course the entry of university...

i sound a bit cold blooded today, don't i? haha...

i did quite some thinking lately too. i'm not dead, though i read something and didnt really comment on it... i was thinking, i agree with my friend that people do not have to give up the chance to go forward, while maintaining the past. once i thought, people might think in some way because they dont feel like sharing out their hearts. this isnt wrong, as people tend to keep certain things to themselves; but i guess maybe some other people, who might be more emotional or who put their efforts into things, thinking that miracle would happen...they might get a little...hurt?? erm... maybe i should not use such a strong word, maybe just disappointed... again, maybe there's just no right or wrong in cases like this... neither of these ppl are wrong, they just think differently, act differently and ended up with different feelings and receive different "shou huo"... in the end, will this cause people to change? just like when a directional selection pressure is applied, there is a shift of allele frequency and the phenotype changes... in conclusion, evolusion occured? =.="

-tian zhen mei you cuo, zhi bu guo you shi hou hui xian de yu chun?-

when i step through the university's door, only if i'm able to, i guess i will become another person again. i did what i wanted to during the days i was in A Levels, i was what i wanted to be, and i fulfilled what i thought of doing while putting aside my worries and my excuses, so i think i should be satisfied with my 1.5 years of pre-U life. what remains, i guess i shall just let it be...

for people who thought that anyhow i wont give up, sorry that i think maybe i'm giving up...

for s3-rians, if anyone of you happens to read this(i'm still considering whether to post this to my blog), i wonder... will you hate me? if i hadnt change, i might, hate myself i guess? but the main point returns to i changed==

However, i will not forget that i did, gained true friendships here, in Sun-U. i appreciate you girls(not to say that guys are bad, but i'm just closer to girls><), for accompanying me through those hard times, for intending to protect me from being hurt deeply and for sharing your true sides with me. i really do appreciate that... and most people that i met here, who accepted who i was, bear with my language problems, taught me about things that i didnt know or didnt aware of and helped me with all kinds of things, thank you. i might be wrong sometimes, or maybe people didnt agree with me at certain times, i know there were these moments. sorry if that bothers any of you.


i dont really know why, but these just came out of my mind, out of a sudden. this was supposed to be a post about what happened today initially-_-lll


last but not least, i just want to thank my family... did i always neglect you all actually? having a simple breakfast together with dad is said to be "qiu zhi bu de" to him. after school, dad and mum were the ones who ask me how did i past the day, how did i do in my exam and prepare food and other things for me. they compensate for my laziness, allowing me to enjoy things that they didnt get to when they were my age. although expressed in slightly different ways, i know that broS, both of you, ye hen teng wo de... a sudden sms from bro + sandy made me smiled, another simple sms reply from er go go made me laughed,while i was studying alone at the foyer and people around stared at me weirdly.

thanks to a friend who helped me to realise all these indirectly too...




thursday will be my next paper, Biology paper 4 (structures + essay), wanna wish me again??

*i know that this post is a bit messy, with all kinds of stuff slotted in. for those who really finish reading it and try to understand it, i dont know what else to say. really pei fu, and thanksXDD